Grandparent speech
It has been said that being married is like sitting in the bathtubafter awhile its not so hot. This is not true. It is my observation that when you are married you are in hot water all the time.
Marriage has been described in many ways by poets, sages and scribes. Most of these, alas, seem to be critical and satirical, but then, after a picnic you remember the mosquitoes and not the butterflies. It is remembered that Cervantes said marriage is a noose, but who is remembered for having said marriage is a delight?
Ambrose Bierce has said, Women would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. There seems to be a tendency to regard marriage as all very well for women but a disaster for men. Disreli said, I respect the institution of marriage. I have always thought that every woman should marry and no man. I dont think he was too good at arithmetic. Shaw described the world as a strewn with snares, traps, gins and pitfalls for the capture of men by women. It has also been said that a man chases a girl until she catches him, and romance has been described as the only sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license.
Are there no favorable comments about marriage? Yes there are! Tennyson said, Marriages are made in heaven. Ogden Nash has written, Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. I must confess Im not sure whether thats favorable or not. There is nothing ambiguous about Thomas Wolfe when he says, There is no spectacle on Earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves. And then we must come to Burns for the gentlest tribute to a wife:
She is a winsome wee thing,
She is a handsome wee thing,
She is a loesome wee thing
This sweet wee wife o mine.
So to the happy couple I would say, let your married life together be such as to confound the wits who would make fun of marriage and add support to those poets who sing its praises.
Let us rise now and drink confusion to the wits and joy to the happy couple. The happy couple.
bestman speech
best man wedding toasts
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