Getting Help with Toasting
When it comes to making a good toast, there are some simple things about it that are good to learn. I will begin this section by answering some of the most common questions about the toast. It is the best way to go about learning about toasting.
What is the basic rule of toasting?
The best toasts are always very brief. They have to be because so many people give them. They are nothing like giving a speech. Toasts help to add to the celebration mood. Think about it, the wedding is about the bride most of the time. This is not the time for the best man to try out his new stand-up comedy routine. The longer the toast is the less effective it is for the couple and for the guests to hear. Keeping it brief also allows for others to add their toasts.
Who is the Master of Ceremonies for the toasts?
Many people think the bandleader or the disc jockey is in charge of the toasts. This is actually not true! It may be hard to believe, but the best man is generally in charge of toasting. This is the same person who was chosen to be the best man mostly because of his ability to plan the bachelor party so it may sound odd. While best men will spend days, even weeks planning the end of his buddy's bachelorhood, they usually start thinking about their toasts the night before the actual wedding. In this sense, you may want to choose a best man that is able to deliver a good toast.
Who actually does the toasting?
The couple should decide who is likely to want to toast at the wedding and who would have a good impact. This varies widely based upon the formality of the wedding and the feelings of the rest of the family. Nowadays, it is common for the best man to toast the bride, the maid/matron of honor to toast the groom, and the father of the bride to toast the couple in general. It is also common for the bride and grooms to toast their parents and the guests.
More toasts may depend on things such as who is actually hosting the wedding. (For example, if the bride's step-father is paying for the wedding, chances are he will be the one who wants to toast the couple.) Even if the groom's side is not actually paying for the couples wedding, they should be offered the opportunity to offer their best wishes as well.
As you can see, the toasting can become pretty complicated and very quickly. It is best to consider the toasts well beforehand if you are going to address any issues that may come from it. Let me tell you, I have seen enough wedding toasts go wrong just because someone was left out of the toasting process. It really is taken seriously as an affront.
What about toasting at the rehearsal dinner?
Often people are so tangled up in thinking about the toasting at the wedding that they completely miss the opportunity for toasts at the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner provides the right time for anyone who is involved in the wedding to share their thoughts with the bride and groom in more relaxed environment. Also, rehearsal toasts at the rehearsal dinner can be spontaneous and can be longer than wedding-day toasts. Perhaps if you dont want the pressure of making a wedding a wedding toast you can offer it at the rehearsal dinner because there will be less people there like close friends and relatives.
When are the toasts?
For formal weddings, the toasts are generally given after the meal. If the wedding cake the couple is cutting will also be the desert, the toasts are done following the cutting of the cake. If the cake the couple is cutting is not the cake that is going to be served, the toasts may occur immediately after the meal. For less formal weddings and those that are done on the beach or in the afternoon, toasting is generally done after the couple's first dance as husband and wife. Either way, you should talk to the caterer so that they can plan the timing of the dessert course.
What do the bride and groom do during the toasts?
All that the couple usually does during the toast is sit still and smile. The bride and groom cannot toast to themselves. If you desire to, you should get up and return a toast. Returned toasts, if you can imagine, are even briefer than the original toast to ensure things keep moving along. That is it as far as the wedding couple.
Ten Quick Tips for Toasting at Weddings
1. Make sure that you are prepared. You have to decide who is toasting, in which order they will be toasting and what you will say in advance of the wedding.
2. Be very sincere. You have to use your own words and speak from the heart. This will be easier for you to remember and mean more to the couple than a toast that you borrowed from a book.
3. Again make it brief. You have to keep the toast within a two to three minutes timeframe. Remember your toast is not the only one.
4. Be as tactful as possible. You have to refrain from embarrassing the couple on their special day. The groom's broken heart from an old girlfriend, the bride's boob job, and any previous marriages, and/or what happened during the bachelor/bachelorette party, should all be left out of the toasts.
5. Be as complimentary as possible. After all, the whole purpose of a wedding toast is to say something nice about the couple that is being honored.
6. Practice the toast, in front of a mirror, or to friends and family without using your notes. You have to memorize the toast because you will be holding a microphone in one hand a drink in another. You dont have enough hands to also hold an index card.
7. Again you must avoid alcohol until you give your toast for the obvious reason.
8. Use your manners. Take small sips of your champagne. Wedding toasts are not a chugging contest. Your glass should not need to be refilled after each toast. Also, clinking should be done with care; especially when you are using crystal stemware. Unlike beer mugs, crystal is quite delicate.
9. You have to try to be connected to the others. Look at the couple and the guests while making sure that you are speaking slowly and clearly.
10. Dont forget to be charming. You have to remember to raise your glass during the toast and sip from your glass at the end of the toast. It is never good to drink during the toast. This also applies while someone else is giving one.
Knowing the right way to go about writing a wedding toast or speech is the first step to being successful at it. It is also on of the easiest ways to ensure that you will find some comfort in doing it.
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